Auschwitz - Live and Let Live

Our breakfast was awesome but was rushed and we felt bad. We were supposed to meet Richard at 8:30 for the bus and we would be on a tight schedule since it took 90 minutes to get there and the tour began at 10:30. We went to the same place we went for lunch the first day (which was slow for lunch), Black Kale. We figured since we got there WHEN they opened it would be quicker. Not so….we finally got our chocolate peanut butter smoothie bowl at 8:25 and had to eat quickly. I had JUST asked about getting it to go and that didn’t go over very well. And we felt bad. But it was delicious. I got a ginger shot to start off … it was strong and burned my throat a little, as straight ginger does, but actually was pretty good at cleansing my mouth. It is supposed to be good for the throat, etc

The trip to Auschwitz was nice. I didn’t know what to expect more than what I knew from visiting Mauthausen the last couple years. But I did have a nice conversation with Richard about EVERYTHING. He is a neat guy.

But how do I adequately write about Auschwitz? It was HUGE, to say the very least. We had a personal guide, Lucas, that was very passionate and helpful. It looked MUCH different than Mauthausen — brick buildings and just a lot more area. I learned there were more than a million Jews that went through Auschwitz. As I re read the book by Frankl, I learned that Auschwitz was associated with being HORRIBLE — gas chambers, crematoriums, and massacres. All of those were also at Mauthausen. However, the video I came across where two survivors of Auschwitz said that Auschwitz was heaven compared to Mauthausen. I had no idea how to feel or how to relate, or compare, the two. So on I walked, often staying back and taking pics of my own. I did like that we had head sets so we didn’t HAVE TO be close to the guide to still hear all he was saying. That was nice.

To put into words Auschwitz would be difficult at least, an incomplete representation at most. And so I hesitate to even try, but I will lay out the tour and some of my feelings, knowing it will be lacking the depth of reality.

Upon entering, we passed under a sign - Arbeit macho frei (work sets you free). Chilling considering so many died at Auschwitz. Having been to Mauthausen a couple times, most rooms were no big deal ... similar in nature. However, we then began to see things and places that made it all real. Rooms with TONS of pots and pans, brushes and combs, luggage, etc. It made me sad that they brought their luggage filled with their most prized possessions, thinking they would be returning...only to have them stolen by the Nazis and then killed. Their small suitcases still bore their name and address. And then there were the shoes....huge masses of many many pair of shoes. But it was the room with hair got me most. It was a part of THEM, the people. It wasn’t an object, it was a piece of their being. The sheer amount left was enough to chill my bones. So many people murdered. And yet, the hair was only a fraction of the total. The Nazis found ways to sell it to make things. It was crazy and horrific!!!

The pics of the prisoners (they did that to regulate and do everything by the book) were difficult for me….I almost couldn’t look at those that had endured such inhuman conditions. And not even for me, for anyone. But to see would make it real, more real! Yet I looked.

Birkenau - WAS HUGE .... VAST to say the very least. The guide mentioned that 200,000 prisoners were set, yet only 2 of the 4 camps were finished, and thus only 90,000 prisoners. Those 4 sections that the prisoners built (I thought of Frankl and what ditched he had actually dug, what sick bay had actually been his duty)

Only 2 were competed before the end of the war …. yet 90,000 prisoners were there, MORE than Conway plus a half!!! Most housing units had been destroyed by the Soviets who took the timber only leaving chimneys, but the ones we entered were similar, yet smaller, than in Mauthausen.

To see the crumbled HUGE gas chambers was bone chilling...to hear HOW they got that many people into them was even worse (putting children in first, then youth, then the elderly, women, and last of all the strong men who could push them in and get the most amount of people there. We stood in the place that many many people undressed thinking they were going to the showers. The Nazi’s had even gone so far as to label it a water closet and put shower heads on the wall to fool them. All that planning in such a horrific mass murder scheme….where hundreds of thousands of Jews, and others were gassed then burned. They built more so they could get rid of the bodies faster. It was sickening.

But I think the sick bay struck me most — still with three layers of slats to be used a beds for the ill to lay there and wait to die. Had Frankl been here/there. This was a chilling sombre place, to be sure. I leaned an arm on the bed of someone that had lost his/her life at the very spot. This was heavy.

Lucas (our guide) was good. A few of his comments have left me pondering - a pondering that will not be short, but will return to my consciousness time and time again. A few include

Remembering

Nobody did anything — hardest of all - I think I will ponder and process this statement most of all!

Don’t believe everything you read, propaganda

Things haven’t changed that much

War is a lucrative business - Nestle, etc ….. still having much made in China for cheap labor. Is it that different?

Consider ourselves lucky and live so that this never happens again.

We took some time to process together as a group when we got back to Ostrava. This was a good time. We invited Matthew as well and he gave interesting comments and points of view also. How is it living in the shadow of such a place? He didn’t even know about it til 5th grade when they would study about it in school. I wonder how the older folks years ago felt. Let’s say in 1950 under communist rule? Or in the early 1990s when the revolution took place? To my comment of not believing we did NOTHING many comments were made….appalled type feelings, and yet Matthew’s struck me deepest….we didn’t get involved until Pearl Harbor (when we were actually attacked). This is still difficult for me to digest. Surely we thought about it, planned something, but maybe our initial aid didn’t come til later??? While talking to Natalie she remembers that some Americans signed up to fight with another country’s military so they COULD be involved with the good guys. I don’t know. A lot to process still for me.

The girls hung out with Matthew, which was wonderful, and Natalie and I walked around the city a little then went back to the same place for dinner from last night. Our potatoe pancake was spicier than the night before and HUGE. We both didn’t finish, probably could have shared one. But it was scrumptious — too spicy for Natalie, so she gave me her left overs! (Which I will gladly take :)

When we returned there was no stand up comedy, but no airflow either ;) We opened the window and it was actually cooler than the previous night. Because we were home earlier, it was pretty quiet outside our window, but along about the time we decided to lay down, a great Tom Cruise shoot ‘em up, blow ‘em up movie began. And it was LOUD….loud enough to shake our windows and bed. I couldn’t believe it….not just LOUD, it was horrible. But we managed somehow. The ear plugs Natalie got did NOTHING to block the sound, even less than my earbuds. I was able to upload another blog — I write them on a google doc, and when I have WiFi I add pics and post them. I’ll try to add pics today while on the train too (we are actually on our way back to Vienna now … a 3 hour train, ample time to write).

Partner Visit - Univ of Ostrava

I was up early to meet Natalie at the U-Bahn station near her hotel. She purchased a weekly ticket and off we went to the train station to meet the girls and then head to Ostrava on the train. We got a quick bit of bakery food for breakfast and waited. The girls weren’t far behind and then we were off. They had their own cabin while Natalie, Rachel, and I shared with a couple ladies. I was able to catch up on reading their blogs. They updated MANY of them yesterday. I thought about reading them yesterday, but opted to create a presentation about Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. It took me longer than I thought.

As we arrived in Ostrava, Richard Conaway from the University met us. He was a younger man and from Arizona, so it was super easy to communicate. Because we had missed the entire first day, we rushed around all day. First to the Kampus Palace then to a quick lunch that ended up being not quick at all (though super good vegan place - I had a hummus tortilla) — resulting in a shortened visit with the faculty of nursing and mid-wifery. I think it was cool to see their resources …. much smaller than our university with our simulation lab and and entire building for physical therapy. But it was fun to see that they do have up to date machines, just not a lot of them.

I made a good contact with Darja in the Nursing dept. Her presentation had to really be cut short so we only got to see what degrees the Univ of Ostrava offers in that “faculty” (which we refer to as a college-like the College of Health and Behavioral Sciences). I found that they have a degree in Public Health….I may be able to spend some time on an exchange here, or a semester, or 

something. She was eager to get me her contact information and so was Richard. He will be a good advocate and communication partner to help set something like that up. I will be talking to Hermann on Friday….sooooooooo…..we wil see.

Ostrava is a much different city. While European influence is seeping in, the communist feel still pervades the place. It is dirtier and less kept up than Vienna, but I suppose with only 30 years to rebuild, it is doing well. Vienna has been rebuilding since 1945, Ostrava since 1993. My initial excitement was always squelched by a nervous to be here type feel. I will see how I feel after Wednesday and Thursday.

We also saw a home for the mentally handicapped. It was much like the Adult Development Center in Conway, only on a MUCH smaller scale. They house 20 patients/clients all week. On the weekends, most of them go home.

Afterward, I think we all were tired of WALKING all over, plus an early day. They let us rest and get a drink at a place. That is a European thing….get a beer and just visit and “chill.” But I was watching the time. As the moments ticked away, so was my ACTUAL rest time in the hotel room before our 6pm dinner. We ended up getting just about 10 minutes. I took EVERY moment of that to lay prone!!!

Dinner was FANTASTIC!!!!!!! They hosted us at a place that had a couple lanes to bowl as well, which was included. It took a LONG time to get the food, so we started our bowling. A local student, Matthew joined us. He was a cute blond haired 22 year old just recently graduated student who will come to study at UCA in January. He was a lot of fun. We laughed about how he and I would consistently get 9 on our first ball and usually miss the solo pin still standing. It was humorous. So we had a lot of fun with this. I think the girls did too. It was time to just let down and have fun.

But can I say MY MEAL WAS SOOOOO GOOD! I have NO IDEA what it was called but it was a variety of dumplings (two of which were typical to what I was used to and two like light bread). The mean (sirloin) was covered in a brown sweet tasty gravy. On top was a lemon covered with whipped cream and cranberry jelly/sauce. Oh my goodness! It was to die for. Granted, I WAS starving, but I’m not making this up. I was in heaven. A lot of the girls got other things (friend cheese, chicken breast covered in vegetables, rolled chicken with cheese and spinach with a wonderful sauce, and something vegetarian and pita like for Priya). Natalie and I determined to go back the next night to try the potatoe pancake that Pavla had ordered and shared a bite with us.

Richard dropped us back at the Kampus Palace hotel (dormitories for the students as well). Natalie and I went to our room to rest and go to bed, while the girls hung out with Matthew for a bit.

Natalie and I quickly found out that we were staying above the happening vegan restaurant that hosts events each night. It was hot and stuffy in our room so we opened the window to find stand up comedy …. and laughter that lasted well past 11pm or midnight! We made it :)

Last night on the way home from Dorfgastein Natalie contacted me saying that she was ill and that our plans for Monday (today) were changing. Instead of getting home at 10:30 (meaning more like 11pm for me and closer to 11:30pm for the girls) and then turning around and making the 2pm train to Ostrava, she allowed herself a full day to rest up in Vienna and then we would take the 8am train on Tuesday. No worries AT ALL. In fact, the girls were all very tired so they were jumping for joy (on the inside) to have a free day where they did not have to get up early, get things done, then meet at the train.

I was equally as excited! I let myself sleep in for a long time. Did some laundry and packed as much as I could with dry clothes, cleaned up and then headed the short train stop away to meet Natalie in her hotel room. We caught up, talked shop, and then I went out to get us lunch. Her first mea in Vienna was from Vapiano’s. It was wonderful as always, but she didn’t get the full experience as she only got to eat it rather than also getting to watch them prepare it.

While there we purchased train tickets for Ostrava but then I headed into the Institute to have them printed for us. It was nice to chat with Hermann and Verena. I love that we have become friends!!

Hermann was telling me something he had recently heard about Silicon Valley in California.

America is definitely NOT a socialist country. This specific example made me sad for the people, but it made him furious. The news report had documented a long street in Silicon Valley lined with cars - like long meaning miles long. In those cars were homeless people. I had been telling him about our homeless tour by Shades Tours, saying he needed to participate in one some time. He said the news story in California interviewed two of these people without a home, living in their cars. He said it was a married couple, both of which worked as high school teachers but could not afford a home. On the TV it showed both of them sitting in the front seat of their car grading. They would kiss each other goodnight and then one would head to the back of the car to sleep and the other would go to another car to sleep.

Wrapping my head around things like this is so difficult. While I see the benefits of a socialist society, I also see the American point of view of who is going to pay for it. Hermann’s beef was that American’s aren’t willing to give up their money to support others. If we want public transportation, someone needs to fund it, or donate the money. Rather in Vienna, EVERYONE pays a portion of their income to this program. Same with homeless shelters, etc. It is difficult to wrap my head around it….I don’t necessarily want to work my back side off so others can have the benefit if they are not working to help themselves. But if they are working, and trying, I feel better about helping. I think a lot of American’s are like this. And I totally get it. We have been conditioned to see that those without don’t try to get, or to make a way on their own. This may or may not be true. Changing our cultural view is very hard indeed.

An early night (yippee) to clean up, pack, and prepare for Ostrava tomorrow. I think it will be a fairly long day going going going.

To Dorfgastein with Love

Though today was another early day, I was excited for Dorfgastein. It is my favorite of all favorite places!!! Each time I go, I dread leaving - and leave a piece of my heart there. This time around I bought a litle stone rock in remembrance :)

The train was fairly straight forward. In fact, no switches. Only we can never have a day free from adventures. We stood at the door as the train stopped. However, the door WOULD NOT open….like seriously, I was pushing and pushing the button but soon the train began to move towards the next city, Bad Hofgastein! We found ourselves there 5 minutes later. Holy Cow!!! Our options were limited….wait the hour for the train back (without tickets) or wait 30 minutes for a bus, buy a ticket and take time to get there. We all opted for the hour wait. We had a good time - it reminded me of the time we missed Mödling station on our way to Burg Liechtenstein during my first study abroad. We had to wait for an hour for the next train back. We saw cute things, but we froze….literally. Well, the girls did, I did not. ;)

Soon enough we were on the train - semi-illegally - to Dorfgastein. We found our way to Pension Theresia to store our luggage. It was nice to see Fritz and Anna Marie. We also saw their grand daughters, Jasmine and Emily. Kelsey had SUCH a great time with Emily last time. I snapped a pic of me with them and sent it to her.

After our luggage was stored, off we went to find out way to the top of the mountain. Fritz usually takes us so I had to navigate by myself….and I never do it perfectly. But no worries, up the mountain we went and soon all the mishaps faded into the clouds as the breathtaking views overtook us! What a fun hike….only I am MUCH MORE out of shape than I like. I gotta drop this weight this summer! And it was wonderful as always. We ate at the restaurant …. cheese dumplings in soup, which was delish!!!

Hallstatt

Up early again and on the train to Hallstatt. This time, instead of the chartered bus, we took the train which dropped us on the opposite side of the lake. This meant we had the opportunity to be on the lake. It was supposed to rain, so I wasn’t sure we would have time or be able to with the weather. It was nice...I love water.

When we got to the little town, we had to rush through to make our time for the tour of the salt mine. We made it and up we went...the higher we went, the more beautiful it became. I didn’t take as many pics this time around (which is true of MOST of this trip), but it was as gorgeous as always. Poor Priya’s allergies were horrible and she sneezed constantly up the mountain. Inside the mountain was better for her, thankfully. And the tour was wonderful as always. I loved the cold since I have been in the heat solidly for a few days. And the slides were fun too!

The clouds were rolling in as we waited our turn for the overlook picture point. It actually started sprinkling HUGE raindrops as we were waiting, but stopped as we took our pics. As we got down to the funicular ride down there was a line, a LONG line. Never before have I seen a line...and it took about 30 minutes or so. We were starving - the girls more than me since I think my breakfast was better than theirs. We finally got down and made our way to somewhere to eat. It had begun to rain a little more now. We found a place to slip inside and have some pizza. As we were inside the rain came down hard...pouring for a bit. Really, it was perfect timing. It rained hard while we were inside and not so hard while we were out walking around. I didn’t want to do much except get a double scoop chocolate gelato and sit! Just sit and look at the lake, take in the serenity and peace! And that is what I did!! Until it was time to get back on the boat.

I was nervous that with the rain, Igor would not be there. But he had promised to stay until midnight if necessary. So when we got off the train, I dropped the girls off at the hostel and then hoofed it quickly into the city, all the while hoping Igor was there. It was no longer really raining, but it HAD been. When I turned the corner, he wasn’t in that same spot, but someone WAS in the dry place under the arches. As I got closer, I saw that it was him and my heart skipped a beat! I couldn’t wait to see my picture. The ONLY thing I was nervous for was the cost. I had NO IDEA how much he would charge me. I was willing to pay whatever it took - even if I had to bring the rest back next year. To my surprise, he insisted on giving it to me as a present! WHAT!!??? How kind!! His reasoning was good energy….being kind, not ripping people off. He then insisted that he give me another to give to a colleague. I decided to give it to the Institute … and hopefully advertise for him since they always send students to Salzburg.  I walked slower on the way home - almost floating. It was BEAUTIFUL!!! Smaller than I expected, but still beautiful!

Another reason for floating home was that I was talking with Spencer. I haven’t REALLY talked with him since he left. It was Saturday so he was just chilling. We had a great conversation about money, his job, my shoes, Austria last year, and life. I miss him a lot and I think he misses me/us too. It is fun to be on your own, I know, but is also strangely difficult at moments. He is coming home next weekend….only I won’t get home until a day later :(